This Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Letdowns of the Year.

As we consider the television landscape of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the third season began, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this show's problems. The recipient of a very rare no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The laughably wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of affluence and materialism? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, abuse allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are forced to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like consuming a sales catalogue. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.